The question has her relaxing, and a smile gracing her pretty face again. Leaning back against the tree, she softly begins reciting words to a poem: “Music speaks what cannot be expressed. It soothes the mind and gives it rest. It heals the heart and makes it whole. It flows from heaven to heal the soul.” She looks down at me with her smile. “You see, Cade, just as I need oxygen to survive, God and music keep my soul alive.”
All of that was okay, up until the fucking God part. I actually feel sorry for her, with how delusional she is. But I know it’s not her fault, and has to do with what her father pushed on her… my stomach churns at thinking what else he has forced on her. I quickly push away the sick thought, not being able to bear thinking about it. “Well I have to admit, Red, you’re pretty good. Why aren’t you singing for a living?”
“If I sang for a living I don’t think I would love it as much as I do, and it’s not something I want to do for a career. But I’m curious, Cade, when have you ever heard me sing?”
Well shit! You busted yourself there, you idiot. I glance over at her to see a knowing smirk on her face. I don’t answer because there’s no digging my way out of this one.
She whispers out a soft giggle. “Don’t worry, Walker, your secret is safe with me.” I glare at her sassy smile, and consider wiping that smug look off her face by flipping her over and sinking into what I bet would be the sweetest, tightest pussy I’ve ever felt…
“I love all music,” she says, thankfully pulling me from my perverted thoughts. “Elvis is one of my favorite artists, same with Johnny Cash and the Beatles. I love country, oldies and rock and roll. Every song has a story – it comes from someone’s heart and soul. I’m actually pretty good at pegging people for their genre of music,” she adds proudly.
“Oh yeah? I’m curious, let’s see if you can pick out mine.”
Smiling at the challenge, she digs into her guitar case then stands up with her iPhone.
“You brought your iPhone with you to Iraq?”
“Yes. I use it to listen to music and to take pictures.”
I watch her scroll through what I’m assuming is her playlist. She smiles when she clearly finds what she’s looking for. “This is what I picture you listening to.” Suddenly, Twisted Sisters’ – “We’re Not Gonna Take It” – blares from her phone.
Well fuck, if it isn’t true that I like this song. What’s funny though is here’s this sweet, innocent country chick in a short, white dress and cowgirl boots head banging to the beat like she’s at some rock concert.
Finally, after a thirty-second show of her rocking out to the lyrics, she laughs and looks over at me. Her smile dies and her mouth drops. “Oh my goodness! Is that a smile I see on your face, Cade Walker?” I quickly realize I have a small lift to my lips.
She clutches her chest as if she’s about to have a heart attack and drops to the ground dramatically. “Be still my heart, the man does have a sense of humor in there somewhere.” She looks over at me and laughs at my glare, finding herself fucking hilarious.
“Take it easy, Red. I was just thinking about how ridiculous you looked.” Ridiculously cute, but I keep that to myself.
Instead of getting offended, she smiles and rolls closer to me. “I’d gladly look ridiculous every day if I knew it would bring a smile to your handsome face, Walker.”
My dick turns to steel and my eyes draw to her full, kissable lips. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to stop myself from tasting her. I don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as this chick, let alone kiss her.
Her smile turns knowingly. “Do you have a girlfriend, Cade Walker?”
What is it with her saying my whole name, and why the fuck do I like it so much? “I don’t do girlfriends, Red. I only fuck.”
My truthful answer doesn’t seem to faze her like I expected it to. “Mmmmm,” she responds quietly before lying down beside me, a little too close for comfort. “And here I am still waiting for my first kiss.”
My head snaps in her direction. No fucking way! “You trying to tell me that you have never kissed a guy before?”
“Of course I have,” she responds with a giggle. Why does hearing that piss me off? “But I haven’t had ‘the kiss’.”
She turns to me with a smile and must see the confusion on my face. “You know… ‘the kiss’. The one you feel through your whole body as soon as your lips touch theirs and everything that is going on around you falls away. You could be in the busiest, noisiest place but everything becomes silent and time seems to stand still. It’s as if, in that moment, you’re the only two people on the planet. It’s that one kiss that you will remember for the rest of your life and you will never have another one like it unless it’s with that same person because it was ‘the kiss’.”
I stare at her, wondering if she’s serious and quickly realize she is. Jesus, she is seriously fucking delusional. “Sorry to disappoint you, Red, but you’re going to be waiting your entire life because there is no such thing.”
Instead of looking disappointed her smile gets bigger. “You haven’t had yours yet either, hey, Walker?”
I roll my eyes. “Believe me, there is no such thing. That crap stems from the same shit as love. It’s all fucking make-believe.”
“You don’t believe in love either?” I give her a ‘what the fuck do you think’ look, which only makes her laugh. “Well speak for yourself, Cade, I will have that kiss one day, and I also plan to fall in love.”
I grunt. “Good luck with that.”
“Why thank you, but I won’t need it.” I glance back at her amused face. “And as much as I’d love to stay and tell you all the reasons why, I’m afraid it will have to wait until tomorrow. It’s time for me to go back to camp.”
Rolling over, she gathers up her guitar and puts it back in the case. My gaze zones in on her ass as she bends over, wishing her dress would rise just a little higher so I can see what she’s wearing under it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen.
Standing, she looks across the field sadly. “Hopefully Aadil comes tomorrow night.”
I have a feeling the kid isn’t coming back but, again, I decide to keep that to myself.
Her smile returns when she looks down at me. “Either way, I hope to see you again tomorrow night, Cade Walker.” She blows me a kiss and sashays her sweet country ass across the field.
I don’t return her goodbye, and as I watch her leave, I instantly miss the sound of her sweet voice and the sight of her stunning smile. What the fuck is happening to me?
A few nights later, I’m sitting in my usual spot with my guitar, and wonder what’s taking Cade so long. I check the time on my phone again. Normally he’s here by now. The thought that something may have happened to him has my stomach twisting, which doesn’t help considering it’s already been in knots over Aadil.
Please, God, let them both be all right.
Cade has met me here every night since our first meeting. Most of the time he doesn’t say much and I do most of the talking, but every once in a while he will open up and share something small about himself. He finally shared with me that he is a SEAL and told me a little bit about his training. He also told me about his friends: Sawyer and Jaxson.
I have enjoyed every single night I have spent with him, but last night was my favorite. He caught me off guard by asking me to sing for him, which I did. I ended up singing for almost the entire two hours we were together. I made sure to pick songs that I thought he would like and he genuinely seemed content to just sit and listen to me. I’ve had many people tell me I have a nice voice, but something about the way he watched me, and how he listened to me made me feel different. It made me feel special.
Cade Walker is like no man I’ve ever met before. He’s sexy, cynical, brooding and, most of all, mysterious. Even though I am grateful for the little he has shared with me I find myself craving to know more. Like what has made him into the man he is today. A man who’s strong and silent, one who never smiles, and who doesn’t believe in God. But most of all I want to know what made him into a man who thinks he isn’t a good one.
Don’t paint me in a good light because of my career choice. There’s nothing good about me.
That one remark has been constantly replaying in my head, and every time it does my heart swells with sadness. It makes me want to strip him bare and learn every dark place he has inside of him. I want to know his every flaw then I want to tell him how perfect he is because, obviously, no one has ever told him that before, which isn’t surprising after his comments on his family the other day.
That has been bothering me the most. To know that he has no one, no family. He acts like he doesn’t care and that he even prefers this, but that can’t be true. It must get extremely lonely, to have no one to come home to or no one to tell you that they love you or missed you.
He may be very jaded but I also know there are a lot of good things about him. Not only is he a man who fights for his country, but look at the way he stood up for Aadil and me. Or how he has come here every night because he worries about my safety… Although, I have been hoping it’s a little more than that. Hoping that maybe he feels the same connection that I am, because boy am I feeling a connection. I have never felt this way about anyone before. Especially someone I barely know and someone who detests the very things I live for: God and love.