“Just tell me, or get out of my room, you're ruining my quiet time.” She lets out a short laugh before saying, “Okay, okay, no need to twist my arm. So I went to a couple bars off campus, and ran into a couple people you may know.” As the words come from her mouth her smile grows bigger and bigger; I knew it, I just knew it.
The second she told me Rex and Corey would be going to the same school as us, I knew she would be up to no good, and by no good I mean she would be trying to show me the good in Rex, and get us back together, which was never, ever, ever, ever happening again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
“No. Oh and No.” I say turning around, and looking back at the sunset. The only problem with this was that if Mimi got focused on something she would in fact make it happen. This was about to get scary.
“But why? They're so different, people change. You forgave me.” She says her eyes twinkling. I know she wants to be the peacemaker or something, but I’ve held out nine months without speaking to him, and I’m sure I can manage now.
“No Mimi. I forgave you because you're my best friend, and you’ve never broken my heart or used me. As for them being different pshh… I doubt it. Corey’s probably slept through at least one sorority since being here.” I scoffed out. I didn’t even want to think about Rex having sex with someone else. Even though he wasn’t seen with anyone else after we broke up who’s to say he wasn’t meeting up with someone else, and really it didn’t matter, it’s not like I cared.
“Knock it off; I just want to be the voice of reason. I know he hurt you, and I’m not saying you have to be together or anything, but holding grudges is like letting someone live rent free in your mind.” She had a point there, but there was no grudge. I let that anger go a long time ago, I just had the feeling Rex didn’t let me go.
“I’m not holding a grudge I just don’t want to see my ex who betrayed me and broke my heart into a million pieces. I came here to turn over a new leaf, not pick one from the same tree. I know you're concerned Mimi, but I’m okay, really I am.”
I try to say this in the most sincere, okay, sounding way. I feel okay, but then there are those moments, the ones where I’m alone and I let the feelings of what happened between us take over. There’s times when I crave his touch and soft kisses, where I wish I could do nothing but go to him; but that’s the past, and it was nothing but a facade. What we had wasn’t even real.
“You don’t have to pretend to be okay. You can tell me, I’m your best friend I know when you're not okay. So when you're ready to talk about it we will.” She sounds like she understands, but I’m not sure she knows heartache. More often than not she's the one doing the heart breaking.
“If things change I’ll tell you. Until then let it go, I’m fine.” I struggle with the words but get them out. Between what my mom did, what Rex did, and the torment that I endured because of Corey, I have major trust issues. Not just that but I have a fear; a huge fear of letting someone in again. I don’t want to feel pain just happiness and I’m not ready to embark down that path again.
I thought I was in love, and maybe I was but now none of that matters. I hear Mimi get off my bed and pad out into the hall. She may be my best friend, but I don’t think she would get it. I don’t talk about it with anyone because if you don’t talk about it, it’s easier to forget it ever happened.
“Oh I forgot to mention this to you, but we got invited to a party at a club tomorrow.” Mimi says popping her head into my room. I turn around to growl at her and tell her I’m not going, but she’s not there. That woman knows how I feel about parties.